Lumber Token

What do you think about my poem?
I wrote a poem recently and would like some feedback about it, Please tell me how i can improve and what you thought about it. Please don’t be too harsh ![]()
Thank you for your feedback
Here it is:
My heart’s forever broken,
It cannot be re-pieced,
but it is a token,
Of you behaving like a beast.
It’s been ripped and torn apart,
So many times to number,
That it is no longer a heart,
but a dismantled piece of lumber.
And though i know it’s not the last,
time my heart will break,
For i won’t look into my past,
Because a smile i will have to fake.
It’s not bad, actually it’s pretty good, but it doesn’t really flow well. You rhymed every other line, and it’s really forced. I know some people like how poems will rhyme, but I think this would have been a lot better if you just let all the words flow. I also recommend posting your writing on sites like Writerscafe.org, or fictionpress.com, because you’ll get better feedback, since they’re both communities of writers. Good luck with your writing!
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